Letters To Elise

*Letter 2*

Dear Elise,

                It’s been 16 days, 12 hours, and 5 seconds since you left me. I went back to work today, even though you made it so I didn’t have to. The alarm went off at 5:00am. I scrambled, nearly falling out of bed, to shut it off before it woke you. Pretty stupid huh? I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I showered and shaved for the first time in a week. I put on the appropriate work attire and drove to the office. Every one acted the way you would’ve expected them too. Nobody would meet my eyes.  Whenever I would walk past anyone talking they would shut up and pretend they didn’t see me. Of course everyone mumbled all the right, socially acceptable, meaningless words with the appropriate feeling they didn’t really feel. I just wanted to stab them all. I didn’t even make it to lunch. I took the pictures I kept of you in my office and just walked out. I’m not going back, another failure to add to the list. Heather called again, threatening to come by if I didn’t answer the phone. So I answered to tell her to leave me the fuck alone. Another failure. If our roles were reversed, you would be handling this so much better. You always knew the right things to say and had the incredible grace to mean them. Heather would call to comfort you but instead you’d end up comforting her. I’m so lost. I picked up an old friend today, Jack Daniels. I know, I promised a long time ago that’s I’d never touch that shit again. You promised to never leave me. Looks like neither of us kept our word.

                Lolly keeps wondering from room to room until she’s exhausted, looking for you. How do I make a dog understand that her most favorite person in the world is never coming back? How do I make her understand that you’re a fucking liar? Me and Jack need to go get reacquainted now.

I love you, even though you lied,                                                                                                                                                          Elliot

This, That, and A Letter

It's been many moons since I last blogged about my business. There have been good times and a bunch of bad, but such is life I guess. My nail polish obsession is still going strong. I've added well over 50 bottles to my collection since I last blogged. I've been really into independent polishes that I've found on Etsy and other blogs. Some are really super, galactic, fantastic, while others are overrated like Lynnderella. Yup I broke the fuck down and bought a handful of bottles and I'm not seeing what all the fuss is about. Very soon they will be going up on Ebay. Yes, you read that correctly I'm gonna put them up on Ebay. If stupid bitches wanna pay an average of $50 a bottle, who am I do deprive them? They're mine, I bought them, so I can do whatever I damn well please with them and that includes making booku bucks with them. I'll put up pics of my independents at a later date.

So I was watching a movie, reading a book, and listening to a song and an idea popped into my brain and had to be purged. It might turn into something, but probably not since I have a very short attention span. The working title is “Letters To Elise”. 

*Letter 1*

Dear Elise,

            It’s been 14 days, 9 hours, and 23 seconds since you left me. You told me not to be afraid, but I can’t help it. I feel like I’m afraid all the time. I was never really brave without you. You made me brave. You made me strong. You made me better. Without you it all feels so pointless. I took Lolly for a walk today. I took her to that stupid dog park you both always loved and I hated. All those yappy ass dogs and their pretentious owns always got on my nerves. You always managed to get along with everyone.  Lolly paced around, sniffing, looking for something. Finally, it occurred to me that she was looking for you. This place, full of over pampered dogs, belonged to you and Lolly. I didn’t belong there. I was an invader. She came and sat at my feet, looking as miserable as I felt. I shouldn’t have brought her there. It was wrong, just another example of my many failures. You would have known this, but you weren’t there to point it out to me. I won’t take Lolly back there again. Heather keeps calling and leaving messages that I don’t return. I wish she’s take a hint. I don’t want to talk to her. I can hear you, right now, in my head, telling me to give to give her a break and that she’s just worried about me. I’m sorry sweetheart; I just don’t have it in me right now to deal with your sister. Seeing her and talking to her would just make me miss you more and I’m just barely hanging on as it is. Maybe I’ll change our phone number. I mean my phone number. There is no “our” or “us” anymore since you had to leave and no amount of tears, begging, pleading, or bargaining will bring you back. It’s not fair. How could you leave me like this?

Loving and missing you,                                                                                                                                                                             Elliot