*Letter 2*
Dear Elise,
It’s
been 16 days, 12 hours, and 5 seconds since you left me. I went back to work
today, even though you made it so I didn’t have to. The alarm went off at
5:00am. I scrambled, nearly falling out of bed, to shut it off before it woke
you. Pretty stupid huh? I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I showered
and shaved for the first time in a week. I put on the appropriate work attire
and drove to the office. Every one acted the way you would’ve expected them
too. Nobody would meet my eyes. Whenever
I would walk past anyone talking they would shut up and pretend they didn’t see
me. Of course everyone mumbled all the right, socially acceptable, meaningless words
with the appropriate feeling they didn’t really feel. I just wanted to stab
them all. I didn’t even make it to lunch. I took the pictures I kept of you in
my office and just walked out. I’m not going back, another failure to add to
the list. Heather called again, threatening to come by if I didn’t answer the phone.
So I answered to tell her to leave me the fuck alone. Another failure. If our
roles were reversed, you would be handling this so much better. You always knew
the right things to say and had the incredible grace to mean them. Heather
would call to comfort you but instead you’d end up comforting her. I’m so lost.
I picked up an old friend today, Jack Daniels. I know, I promised a long time
ago that’s I’d never touch that shit again. You promised to never leave me.
Looks like neither of us kept our word.
Lolly
keeps wondering from room to room until she’s exhausted, looking for you. How
do I make a dog understand that her most favorite person in the world is never
coming back? How do I make her understand that you’re a fucking liar? Me and
Jack need to go get reacquainted now.
I love you, even though you lied,
Elliot
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